Posted by: power09er | July 11, 2010

Sleep and some crazy ramblings…

SleepKaiserLately my sleep pattern has become a complete disaster.  Tonight/today is a great example.  I had been in Boulder from about 8:30am and home around 5pm.  I was exhausted, took about a 20 minute nap and then hit the sack around 10pm totally looking forward to sleep.  Well as has been usual for the last few weeks, I woke up about 30 minutes after crawling into bed/falling asleep and was completely restless till I finally got out of bed around well now.  I feel completely wide awake which is annoying me even more and I know that in seven hours when my alarm goes off so I can take the dog for a run before we meet people for breakfast downtown, I am going to hate life.

I think a lot of my sleep issues have to do with my lack of work but not lack of projects.  I have a quasi schedule but I am being pulled in a lot of different directions so my brain seems to never really shut off unless completely exhausted.  Some of the things rolling through my head today as I tossed and turned, while trying to not wake up Trav:

1.  Need to follow up, or hunt down who to follow up with for Wellbridge National Events & Programs Coordinator, man I want that job

2.  Need to file papers in office, it is getting too hard to concentrate and it just plain bothering me.

3.  Need to send mom information for resetting up her email on her iPhone, don’t know why this is all jacked up.

4.  Need to go through notes from WordCamp today

5.  Need to follow up on donations for Weim & Cheese, starting to get nervous about ticket sales and donations

6.  Need to email Michelle L. notes from meeting with Darci to finish website, email blast, and market Weim & Cheese

7.  Need to send follow up email about Weim & Cheese call next week, haven’t received one response.

8.  Need sleep, this sucks I need to get some sleep

9.  I need to find a job, but what job, marketing, sales, Banana Republic, Costco, what…..I think I know what I want to do but I don’t know if that is what I want to do.  I can’t just be a mooch off Travis.

10.  I need to get started on the new site ISC, Your Way and somehow do the SEO contract work I just picked up.

11.  I need sleep….

12.  I need to mow the lawn, it has been a week and a half that is sad.

13.  Our house is a mess, it needs to be swept, mop the floors, clean the office floor and oh yeah I need to take the freaking plastic off the last window in the office so I can see outside when I am down here instead of it being a cave.

14.  I need to go to the gym, should have gone today but the nap felt great and just relaxing with Trav felt great.

15.  Why do I have so much on my plate for someone supposedly not working????

Yeah so my brain doesn’t stop.  The biggest concerns I have right now is the whole job hunt.  Most days I feel good about my decision, I know that if I had gone back I would have been uphappy and frustrated and completely drained.  However, the fear of the unknown is making me very nervous.  Trav and I were on such a good path to paying everything off except the mortgage obviously, that to have this set back is frustrating.  I get frustrated about my career, the direction it has gone and how do I turn it back around and point it in a direction I want it to go, when sometimes I am not sure what that is.

Most of the time though I feel good about my decision.  I am able to refocus on me, discover where I want to go, what company do I want to be with and take control back of my career.  I am definitely not bored so finding things to pass the time is not an issue, the lack of time is still an issue.  I am going to look into taking some classes, maybe a certification program and continue to advance my skillset, job or not.

This is what I think about at night when I should be sleeping.  Hopefully writing this down helps, it is 1:30am, I still am not really tired and I just really would a full night sleep without any worries.


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